Personal 1: Getting Back to Me

After visiting my alma mater this weekend for Homecoming, I’ve come to one stark realization: I miss college.

Not like your normal “Man, college was fun” or even a “College was some of the best times” but a serious “College, I miss every fiber of your being” moment that’s followed by a huge sigh.

I know I don’t miss college, the place and definitely not college, the work, but I miss college, the experience. I made great friends, learned a lot about myself and the world around me.

Yet, I don’t think I miss anything more than the “take over the world” mentality that I had in college. I’m used to always overachieving. Anything I put my mind to, I accomplish. And I really mean anything.

But it has been this move to D.C. and almost two-year-long job hunt that has challenged that mentality. At one point, it almost stole it. It’s been quite the adjustment to hear “no” and “you didn’t get the job” as much as I have since graduating in 2009. I went from being a person confident in her intelligent and talent to one who questioned if she had what it took to make it.

Perhaps, that self-doubt is a common one. I know people have it, but not me. Call it naive, but I always knew that I’d get to where I wanted to be and I’d grow into a better person because of it. I still believe that I’m slowly (and I do mean slowly) making my way in the communications world but its one that can knock you off your feet if you don’t have them firmly planted in the ground.

I’ve always been one of the strongest people I know and the backbone of my family and friends but for the first time I’ve allowed that self-doubt (and my overwhelming fear of failure) to cripple me. In this last year, I’ve questioned myself, my talent and my direction in life.

I’ve been a lot better lately and way more positive about making my way in the world but I still have those moments. Moments I never had when I was clueless to how the economy would affect me, how hard job-hunting was and how long it was going to take for me to gain my footing.

That’s why I miss college so much. Because I miss the me it represents.

“I love when they tell me no. I just say, ‘you’re obviously not the person I need to be talking to then.’  “-Raven Symone

That’s the person I used to be. One who lived by words like those and who thrived on proving to myself that I’ll always have an open door, even when I have to kick it open myself.

I’m slowing getting back to that person. After having those trying times of self-doubt, I’m getting back to the person who was ready to conquer the world. This weekend helped me get back to her.

I felt the college spirit again.

I felt naive and untouchable. Ready to kick ass and take names.

I got my second wind.

 

Advertisements

2 Comments »

  1. […] personal post “Getting Back to Me” has stuck with me ever since I read it last week. It made me question what I got out of my […]

  2. […] taryou, I was immediately moved by Tiffany’s “Getting Back to Me” post from last week.  I know a ton of college graduates, including myself, who have experience her […]


{ RSS feed for comments on this post} · { TrackBack URI }

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: